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Interracial Couple

Couples Therapy

Have you ever wanted to work on your relationship but didn't want to feel judged by some random therapist opinions only?  Wouldn't it be great to have clear snapshot based on research to help you set goals and create a plan to really improve your skills not just rehash old fights?  Well both of those wants can actually happen!  I offer two methods of couple work.   One is standard sessions lasting from 60-90 minutes at weekly or other regular intervals depending on need.  And the other is an intensive 3 day program.  Intensives can help jump start or dig deeper than traditional sessions without the time pressure.  Intensives can be blended with traditional sessions or used as a stand alone intervention.  

Because couple therapy requires a very specific set of skills I have completed intensive trainings from two major thought leaders in couples work.  One is the Couple's Institute, a two year program in the Developmental Model of Couple's Therapy from Peter Pearson PhD and Ellyn Bader PhD.   This model is all about helping the relationship grow and develop.  Couplehood similar to individual development follows a developmental path.  This model helps the couple work through issues that thwart development or have caused pain the relationship (like infidelity, communication breakdowns, trust issues and more).  The goal is to improve the bond between partners and further the development together of the relationship so it is more rewarding and secure.

Additionally, I have completed Level 3 Training in  Gottman Method Couples Therapy.  This method's strength is that it is research driven.  The work starts of  with an in-depth talk  and the competition a thorough assessment tool by both people in the relationship.  Your results from the assessment are then compared to thousands of couples and sound research on what makes a healthy relationship.  The data from that is used to actually set your goals and see what skills might need to grow.  This is more than just one therapists opinion, it reflects your relationship compared to other SUCCESSFUL relationships.

Both of these methods offer a  hope based, educational, sometimes fun, sometimes emotional approach to getting you the relationship you always wanted but maybe didn't have a model to go by or maybe didn't know how to create together.  One of the great things about modern relationships is that the two of you decide what is most important and what you want and need.  In the present the model most of us saw in our families doesn't fit how we live today.  That fact, while challenging, is also exciting because it mean each couple is free to define how they want and need their specific relationship to function in the present.  I find that present day relationships given all the options (cell phones ect) to communicate can also cause as much discord as they help because endless opportunity requires superlative communication skills, which most of us were not taught but can absolutely learn.

Couples work impacts so many lives; if a couple functions lovingly and well, their children thrive.  As the children grow and see a loving model that most likely impacts what they look for in a mate of their own when the time comes.  Expecting and selecting a strong loving mate (because they saw that as the model) then impacts their children and so on.   I love, love, love taking part in that cycle.  To me, one of the best gifts we can give our children is the model of how to withstand adversity in our relationship and life and still be loving. Even without children in the picture a strong relationship impacts our sense of well-being and overall health.  (Btw I have been married now to the same man for 25 plus years, and together we raised our now adult children, so I "walk the walk" on that one.  Seems fair to share that information.)

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